Forgiveness is a wonderful, beautiful, and overwhelming thing.  It feels like a giant weight on your shoulders has been lifted.  Why, when it comes to others, are we so slow to forgive, and so quick to anger and resentment, knowing it eventually leads to bitterness?  Maybe it’s pride, maybe we’re waiting on the other person to say “I’m sorry” first.  Haven’t we all discovered that this bitterness only eats at our own selves, and doesn’t affect the object of our hurt and anger one iota? That heavy weight on our backs just digs deeper into us and physically wears us down.

Often, the hardest person to forgive is ourselves.  We know our own motives, our own thoughts, our own skeletons and where we’ve hidden them.  And it isn’t pretty.  We go about life feeling like an impostor, painting a portrait of confidence on the outside, but feeling like this house of cards is going to collapse at any minute on the inside.  When we can’t forgive ourselves, it’s difficult to forgive anyone else.  Even more impossible is the idea that we can be forgiven and loved.

Life is a messy, crazy, yet incredible journey.  Because there are people in this life with us, there will always be hurdles.  I’ve been so blessed to see my own dad restore his relationship with his father after a period of over 15 years of silence.  My dad, my mom, and I just went to visit my grandfather in October, and it was the first time my mom had ever met him.  It was a perfect visit.  All of the life that passed during that period of silence was suddenly irrelevant in comparison to the new memories we made.  I’ve been privileged to bear witness to even more lives of loved ones healed by the power of forgiveness.

Plagued by self-imposed guilt

and rattled by the fear of discovery

Living each day as a desperate race

to outrun the past

and the weight of memory.

Like water spilled onto thirsty ground,

life cannot be undone.

After years of deafening silence,

a still small voice interrupts

like a tiny shaft of light

cutting through the dark, oppressive night.

With a pounding heart

and cautious hope,

Forgiveness is found waiting on the other side

smiling, with arms extended.

About miccahmarie

I got my first Diary when I was 10. I couldn't wait to write in it at night to divulge all of the details of my day onto paper with my turquoise pen. I now find that writing has become therapeutic for me. I need time to think and sort out what is going on inside and often when I'm most emotionally heightened is when I write most creatively. My years of journaling are a compilation of written out prayers as well as lamenting poems. Now as a wife and mother, my perspectives have changed, as I reflect on who I was and who God is making me to be.
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1 Response to Restoration

  1. Heather says:

    Powerful. I especially enjoyed reading your poetry. God has gifted you my friend!

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