Archery

Sometimes people can shock us at the absolute callousness, meanness, or hatred they express. It hurts even worse when it’s someone we love, trust, and have invited into our lives. It can make us jaded and mistrust people.  A relationship that I’ve borne close witness to, and have used as a model for what I want in the future has just completely disintegrated.  The man I used to maintain as the measuring stick for any other man in my life has just walked away from a 9 year marriage.  What was the beginning of an incredible love story has ended in shards.  I’m crushed and have absolutely no desire to ever be in a relationship right now.  Any poor schmuck that expresses interest in me is going to get dismissed.  Piss off.  I don’t even want to be around my friends because I’m almost waiting for the knife to plunge in while my back is turned in order to present the cake I’ve made for them.  I want to scream as I sit and blandly listen with a fake smile at hearing about this new beautiful boy she’s met, or ogle at this gorgeous new engagement ring, or hear how many dates she’s been on this week.  I don’t care.  I used to.  

Pure and soft like warm butter

was my childish heart

Until the first arrow pierced wetly

leaving me raw.

More arrows have since struck

until now the blood no longer flows

and scar tissue has filled in each wound, 

tough and inflexible.

No longer do I want to hold my arms open

exposed and vulnerable

Instead, crossing my arms like a shield

and keeping my eyes to the ground

Preventing another possible archer

to come within range.

Advertisements

About miccahmarie

I got my first Diary when I was 10. I couldn't wait to write in it at night to divulge all of the details of my day onto paper with my turquoise pen. I now find that writing has become therapeutic for me. I need time to think and sort out what is going on inside and often when I'm most emotionally heightened is when I write most creatively. My years of journaling are a compilation of written out prayers as well as lamenting poems. Now as a wife and mother, my perspectives have changed, as I reflect on who I was and who God is making me to be.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Archery

  1. Rob says:

    Others should not determine your path in finding a partner. Humans are fallible and pedestals are never a good thing to put people on.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s